The Jail Blazer Curse

6 12 2009

The good people of Portland don’t deserve to have their lone professional team continually hampered by poor decisions and bad luck. Come to think of it, the entire Pacific Northwest has had a rough go of it in respect to NBA basketball. Teams from Vancouver and Seattle have moved to the thriving metropolises of Memphis and Oklahoma City, respectively. And the one team left in the region, the Portland Trail Blazers, arguably are the most cursed team in the NBA, if not in all of professional sports. Here’s my argument:

1977-78

From March 15, 1977 to Feb. 28, 1978, the Blazers won 60 of 75 regular season games and claimed the 1976-77 NBA title. They had Young Bill Walton in that title season, who averaged 18.6 points, 14.4 ‘boards, 3.2 blocks in the regular season and who looked on his way to becoming one of the NBA’s best-ever big men. Yet it was after their 50th win in that ’77-’78 season — pushing their record to 50-10 — that Walton discovered he had yet another problem with his left foot. He sat out the rest of the regular season and returned for the playoffs, only to find out that the navicular bone in his left ankle was broken. He’d never be the same and the Trail Blazers would miss the chance at building a dynasty in the late ’70s. Given how there was no dominant team those last couple years of that decade, they probably could’ve won at least three titles had Walton been healthy.

1984

The Blazers had a choice between these two players in the 1984 draft.

Everyone knows this one. The Blazers, picking second in the 1984 draft, chose Kentucky center Sam Bowie over North Carolina guard Michael Jordan. Bill Simmons does a commendable job in The Book of Basketball of explaining what a dumb pick this was even at the time. Bowie had dealt with leg issues in college. Jordan was already gaining a reputation as a fearless and dominant competitor. You’d think the Blazers would’ve gone with Jordan considering they were already burned once by drafting Walton, who had been ravaged by injuries throughout his high school, college and NBA career.

Yet they drafted Bowie anyway under the premise that they didn’t need another shooting guard since they had drafted Clyde Drexler the previous year. This was the ultimate example of why a team with a premium draft choice should almost always choose the best player instead of picking for a need.

So they drafted Bowie, who played precisely four seasons for Portland. Amazingly (or perhaps not so given his extensive injury list in college), he played in 38, 5 and 20 games in his final three years in Portland. He averaged 10.5 points and 7.0 rebounds in his Blazer career. You know the story with Jordan. 30.1 career scoring average, 6 NBA titles, 5 regular season MVPs and so much more. He even stuck it to the Blazers — and Drexler — in the ’92 Finals.

1989-92

Even after losing Walton and ruining the chance to draft the greatest basketball player of all-time, the Blazers still made the playoffs 12 times in 13 years entering the 1989-90 season. (They missed the playoffs in 1981-82 despite going 42-40.) Portland would make the Finals twice over the next three years (’89-’90 vs. Detroit, ’91-’92 vs. Chicago) as they took over the role from the Lakers as THE team to beat in the Western Conference. Unfortunately for Portland, this happened right as the Bad Boy Pistons were peaking and just before Jordan’s Bulls began reeling off title after title. The timing for Portland’s ascension back to the NBA’s elite couldn’t have been worse. They had an exciting team with Clyde the Glide, Terry Porter, Jerome Kersey and crew (Drazen Petrovic was actually on the team from ’89-’91) along with an intimidating home court advantage. No NBA fan wanted to see his team play at the old Rose Garden, where fans were on top of the action. There was an English soccer-like  intensity at every big game in Portland. Unfortunately for them, they ran into the Detroit/Chicago teams which dominated the NBA during that era.

2000

By the 1999-00 playoffs, the Blazers had made the playoffs 23 times in 24 seasons, including 18 in a row. They were STACKED that year. Scottie Pippen, Steve Smith, Detlef Schremf and Arvydas Sabonis were at the tail end of their careers but still very effective. Brian Grant was actually a menace on the ‘boards and on defense, Damon Stoudemire and Bonzi Wells were tough scorers, ex-UNLV teammates Greg Anthony and Stacey Augmon were there for everybody’s entertainment (and in Augmon’s case, for some really tough D) and Young Rasheed Wallace was perhaps their best player. Even Young Jermaine O’Neal was on the bench, though he rarely played. You can say this team had some depth.

You can also say they had one of the biggest choke jobs in NBA history, as they blew a 15-point lead in the fourth quarter of Game 7 of the Western Finals to their chief rivals — the Lakers. Portland had that 15-point lead with little over 10 minutes left, yet the Kobe/Shaq Lakers pulled off a comeback from which Portland still hasn’t recovered.

They lost in the first round of the playoffs the ensuing three seasons, including Robert Horry nailing a last-second game- and series-clinching three in front of Portland’s bench in Game 3 of the ’01 first round. (Nobody ever mentions this among Horry’s great clutch three-pointers.) Wanna guess who presided over that Blazers team as well as the ’99-’00 version which dropped that famous Game 7? None other than Mike Dunleavy, who for the past seven seasons has guided the hapless Clippers, known as the most cursed franchise in sports.

2008

Greg Oden saying good-bye to his NBA career.

Blessed with their first No. 1 overall selection since they took Walton at the top spot in the ’74 draft, the Blazers seemingly got a do-over to the Bowie/Jordan debacle in ’84. Once again, they were presented with an either/or scenario. Either they go for a “need” and draft an injury-plagued big man who is ripe with questions about his potential effectiveness in the NBA (Greg Oden) OR they go for the precocious perimeter player (Kevin Durant) despite already having depth in that area (Brandon Roy and, to a lesser extent, big man LaMarcus Aldridge). Naturally, they picked Oden.

Durant was a no-brainer for me at the time. Brandon Roy was and is very good, but he has question marks of his own with his past knee problems. Aldridge is a smooth power forward, but he’s not a No. 1 guy. He might not even be a No. 2 guy on a championship team. Durant was a sensation in his one college season and at 6’10 with arms that make him seem like Gumbee, he looks like the prototype for the new breed of NBA scorer in the 21st century.

Of course, like Bowie/Jordan, we already know this story. Oden had microfracture surgery on his right knee PRIOR to his rookie season, eventually making his NBA debut in what should have been his second year. He played 61 games last year and looked to be really turning it on this year in his first 20 games (he had a 24/12 Nov. 23 and a 13/20 with four blocks Dec. 1) before fracturing his left kneecap last night. He’s out for the year again, and he will never reach his potential. Even if he recovers physically, he’ll be mentally scarred forever by missing so much NBA time early in his career with dual knee injuries.

Meanwhile, Durant is throwing down 28 points every night — he’s averaged at least 20 in each of his three seasons — and looks on his way to becoming a top 5 NBA player for the next 10-12 years.

Recap

Portland fans, if they haven’t clicked off this post already, will want to avoid the next paragraph. Especially if it’s raining there, which is very likely.

Over the past 30 years or so, Portland missed a chance at one mini-dynasty in the late ’70s when Walton couldn’t stay healthy; missed their chance at drafting the game’s greatest player in ’84; again missed a chance at a mini-dynasty in the early ’90s primarily because the player they failed to draft in ’84 began to take over the league; incomprehensibly blew a huge lead and their shot at a Finals appearance to one of their chief rivals in a Game 7 in ’00, which spurred them into a decade-long spiral; missed their chance at making up for the ’84 draft mistake in the ’08 draft by amazingly doing EXACTLY THE SAME THING they had done 24 years earlier in drafting an injury-plagued big man over a dominant perimeter player.

Now Portlanders, enjoy your beautiful city and kind people and try not to think of what life would’ve been like with two (or more) dynasties, Michael Jordan and Kevin Durant.





Absurdly good sports therapy ideas

4 12 2009

Patently Absurd (Pain Relief)

In my first clip in ESPN Magazine, I help Brett Deutsch (who has a running Patently Absurd column for the magazine) explore the world of sports therapy products. We researched the most notorious products on the market and when and how they were first invented.

The idea for the sports therapy theme arose from my reading an article in the Bozeman (MT) Chronicle about a local couple who invented a product called the Morris Boot. The couple, both of whom are former athletic trainers, invented this “boot” (it’s really a plastic bag) that looks like a big Christmas stocking yet allows an athlete to ice an ankle and still be mobile, using the ziplock strap at the top to enclose the bag around the leg. (There is a compartment inside the bag that separates the ice from the foot.) You can find the boot here.

I proposed this story as a small item to an editor and was then introduced to Brett and his column. From there, we started researching more therapy products and came upon items like the Chilly Billy, a slew of magnetic therapy products and more.

That’s the how this piece developed. Hope you enjoy it.





Own a team, roll out the dough

3 12 2009

Here’s a wild idea: If you’re going to own a professional sports team, then be prepared to spend money. Dodgers owner Frank McCourt seems strangely foreign to that idea lately. The Dodgers stupidly refused to offer arbitration to any of their free agents, including Type A guys Orlando Hudson and Randy Wolf. (If a team offers their Type A free agent arbitration and that player turns it down to sign with another team, then the arb-offering team gets a first round pick from the signing team [unless the signing team has a top-15 pick, in which case the offering team gets the signing team's second round choice] as well as a supplemental draft pick supplied by MLB between rounds 1 and 2.)

(Right to left) Frank McCourt: "Who wants to sing Take Me Out to the Ballgame!?", Jamie McCourt: "I'll lip-synch it only if you pay me $2,000 a month for the next three years", Tiger: "Frank, do it! Huge. Jamie, that's a familiar name. Who wants to road trip to Vegas? Vegas!"

One of the leading theories on why the Dodgers didn’t offer Hudson and/or Wolf arbitration is that they might — get this — ACCEPT IT. God forbid our All-Star second baseman or 1.10 WHIP-rocking southpaw choose to play for us again at an increased salary. And God forbid McCourt sign off on arbitration so as to at least give the Dodgers the benefit of high-round draft picks in the event that Hudson and/or Wolf were to sign elsewhere. It couldn’t have been GM Ned Colletti’s choice to not offer arbitration. No way. That man is familiar with the current predicament of the Dodgers’ once-vaunted farm system. He understands the value of attaining draft picks.

See, the way the Dodgers have acquired veterans like Manny Ramirez, Casey Blake and George Sherrill the past couple years is through the tapping into their farm system time and again to send prospects to the teams holding those veterans. Why, you might wonder. It’s because McCourt is a cheapskate/poor bastard and has refused to absorb more salary. So if the Dodgers are going to go to the Red Sox or Indians or Orioles and ask that team to hand over a veteran player AND pay most or all of his salary, then the BoSox or Tribe or O’s are going to ask for something else in return — young’ns, as Fabolous so eloquently stated in some song earlier this decade that I ashamedly rocked out to.

Adam LaRoche, Bryan Morris, Carlos Santana (a STUD catcher who could’ve replaced the oddly fading Russell Martin), flamethrower Jon Meloan, slugger Josh Bell and Steve Johnson have all been jettisoned to bring in the older guys. Now, the trades have worked out well so far for the Dodgers. Manny, Blake and Sherrill have been successful in Dodger Blue. But the problem is we might not have had to give up Santana or Bell — two guys we could surely use in future years — if McCourt had been willing to take on salary. We could’ve sent lesser prospects had McCourt signed off on increasing payroll.

Instead, we have an increasingly irritating owner who’s fighting over control for the team from his ex-wife, who somehow needs over $400K per month just to get by. I’m getting completely disillusioned by the sad state of Dodgers ownership. The writing is on the wall. Unless this team is sold soon, they’re going to become MLB’s version of the Phoenix Suns. A team which was so promising and had so many possibilities yet were ultimately decimated because of a blood-sucking owner who decided to lock up his wallet like it was the freaking vault to the Federal Reserve.

At least I have the Lakers and Jerry Buss. God Bless that man.





Stop idolizing athletes

2 12 2009

Face it, our society’s idolization of athletes is pretty ridiculous. Maybe Charles Barkley had it right all along when he famously said that he’s not a role model for children.

In the last couple months, we’ve seen Michael Jordan act like an unappreciative, cold-hearted jackass during his Hall of Fame induction speech, and Tiger Woods become bombarded with alleged affairs with a multitude of women. Two men who are truly transcendent athletes with images sculpted by the smartest people in the sports marketing industry still aren’t immune to revealing their personality flaws in this hyperactive information age. Which just goes to show us sports fans that the only way we can truly enjoy athletes’ achievements is to concentrate on what they do on the field, court, pitch or rink.

People who’ve become familiar with my admiration for Kobe Bryant have asked me how I could cheer for a guy who was accused of rape and, in some people’s eyes, admitted his guilt by settling with his accuser in a civil suit. I always respond by saying that I root for Kobe Bryant the NBA player and not Kobe Bryant the person. I don’t care if he’s an a-hole and a wife cheater. I only care that he’s an incredible basketball player who’s won four championships on my favorite sports team.

By simplifying what I expect from an athlete, I’m able to appreciate why they matter to me. They’re here for our athletic enjoyment and our entertainment. They have exceptional physical (running, jumping) and psychological (concentration, desire) abilities that you or I simply don’t possess.

What they lack is particularly sound judgment away from their athletic arena. They act like prima donnas, they thoughtlessly throw away money and they’ll occasionally cheat on their wives. They seem like dumbasses and arrogant fools at times, but that shouldn’t come as a surprise. The same selfish and ruthless mindset they display away from the playing field or court is often exactly why they’re so damn good at what they do.

If sports fans learned to just appreciate athletes strictly for their athletic accomplishments and weren’t so tempted to pretend like these guys are the most chivalrous lot of human beings on Earth, then they wouldn’t be so flabbergasted when even an apparent saint like Tiger Woods is accused of cheating on his wife and the mother of his two kids.








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